If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Randomize
