..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
