Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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