um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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