Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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