it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
