This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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