I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
