so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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