Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
