1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
