I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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