pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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