He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
