Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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