Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
