My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
