Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
