I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
