why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
