So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
