you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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