That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
