paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
