sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
