I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
