Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
