I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
