Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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