Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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