I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
