She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
