Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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