You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
