I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
