i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
