am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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