So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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