she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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