Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize