i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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