There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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