Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
