thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
