Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
