New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
