i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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