my mouth tastes like poor choices
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm really busy with my period
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