omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
