Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
