This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize