chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
