I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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