they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love having hate sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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