grandma shit on top of the toilet
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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