Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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