Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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