is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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