Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
