We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
