'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
